Mario Ah's Ark
by Trigger1
Summary: Mario, Link, and Tai come back together for a rather..'unique' adventure. @.@


Mario ah's Arch  
  
Narrator :: It's a peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping. It looks like nothing can go wrong, today.  
  
**clouds appear out of nowhere and fill the sky**  
  
Okay, scratch that thought. It looks like trouble's boiling in the horizon.  
  
Peach :: Oh my! Looks like there's going to be a change of plans for this afternoon's picnic.  
  
Toad :: Princess! This doesn't look good, I think there's trouble behi-  
  
Bowser :: Muahahaha! That's absolutely right, shrimp!  
  
Narrator :: **coughs** A little early there Bowser **coughs**  
  
Bowser :: What? I'M HEARING VOICES IN MY HEAD!!! **grabs head and spins his body**  
  
Narrator :: I knew I should've stayed with the Powerpuff Girls.  
  
Peach :: **breaks the moment of silence** AHH! Mario, Heeeeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Prophet :: The moment of dread is about to begin! Quick Mario! You must take two of every creature on this list and fit them into a rather large boat somehow for 40 days and 40 nights:  
  
Male and Female.  
  
Yoshis Koopas Kongs Hylians Gorons Zoras Toads Kokiris Deku Scrubs Faeries Digimon DigiBrats And any other kind of funkified character you may find along the way!  
  
Mario :: Whatzza Kong? Oh no! Whatzza Hylian! Mama mia!  
  
Prophet :: Nintendo.we have a problem.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Link :: **riding Epona** Hmm, looks like we've got company.  
  
Epona :: (Yeah.so maybe you should get your butt off of my back and go find out what it is.)  
  
Link :: Come, Epona! Let's go!  
  
Epona :: (Like I said.why don't you get off your lazy butt and walk yourself.)  
  
Link :: It's going to be a bad storm, but I sense another life force is within it.  
  
Epona :: (No **** Sherlock.so why don't you get off me and deal with it yourself. You know I only let you ride me, because of the extra sugar cubes Malon gives me every time we return.)  
  
Link :: Oh well, whatever happens it's not my problem anymore. The sages can take care of it.  
  
Epona :: (Wuss.)  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Tai :: Hey Agumon! Go long! **throws a football**  
  
Agumon :: I got it! **misses the ball and falls into a hole**  
  
Tai :: I guess Digimon aren't meant to play sports. Oh well, come on buddy let's go blow up something or other.  
  
**storm clouds form and a strong wind begins to blow**  
  
Wow, looks like a biggie. I think we should head home, pal.  
  
Agumon :: Sure, but could you kind of help me out of this hole here? My tail's a bit too snug in here.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Bowser :: Stop! It's making my head hurt! Too many things to remember!  
  
Narrator :: Sorry, Bowser. But there's one more set of characters you must remember before we go on.  
  
Peach :: Sweet!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Donkey Kong :: **ape sounds** auh.AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHH! **pounds on ground**  
  
Yoshi :: Yoshi! **attemps to eat DK**  
  
DK :: RARG! **is pulled in then spat out**  
  
Yoshi :: Ah ah ah!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Bowser :: That was like watching an episode of Pokémon. I even have to agree with most Nintendo fans, Mario makes a better mascot than that little rat any day.  
  
Toad :: Danger Danger! The storms coming in faster!  
  
Bowser :: Oh yeah! **clears throat** RAR! GWAHAHAHAHA! I will flood the world and all will be mine! GWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Mario :: Mama mia! Brotha! Brotha! I need ah help!  
  
Luigi :: What!?!  
  
Mario :: Wait.lemme uh think.**an hour passes**  
  
Luigi :: Vell?  
  
Mario :: I ya got it! We must ah build ah big boat!  
  
Luigi :: Uh, okay.why?  
  
Mario :: I.uh.hold ah on.**30 minutes pass**  
  
Luigi :: Vell?  
  
Mario :: I ya think we are ah supposed to put ah something in the boat!  
  
Luigi :: And vat is that?  
  
Mario :: I'm not sure.**10 minutes pass**  
  
Luigi :: Vell?  
  
Mario :: I ya think we're ah supposed to ah put stuff from ah the list.  
  
Luigi :: Vat list?  
  
Mario :: Givva me ah moment.**5 minutes**  
  
Luigi :: Vell?  
  
Mario :: Here it ah is. **presents a note to Luigi**  
  
Luigi :: Are you ah sure this issa the list?  
  
Mario :: Yessa, why?  
  
Luigi :: It ah says 'Mushrooms on rice'.  
  
Mario :: Oh.oh! Here ah it is! **gives Luigi another folded piece of paper**  
  
Luigi :: Whatzza Kong? Whatzza Hylian?  
  
Mario :: I dunno! Durrrr.  
  
Luigi :: Vell, vatever it ah is, ve gotta getzza vun.  
  
Mario :: A van? Howwa we gonna get a van?  
  
Luigi :: Mario you idiot! Ve gotta getzza vun!  
  
Mario :: Hey! I ya got it!  
  
**Mario and Luigi build a big boat**  
  
Luigi :: Vatta ve call it?  
  
Mario :: Whatzza about pineapple?  
  
Luigi :: Pineapple!?! Vat kind of ah idiot would ah name his ah boat pineapple!?!  
  
Mario :: Mario ah would!  
  
Luigi :: Ven ve'll call it Mario ah's . ship . thing . ark.  
  
Narrator :: And so they named it Mario ah's Ark!  
  
Luigi :: Hey! Vatzza vith va voice? Vere's it ah coming from!?!  
  
Mario :: MEXICO!  
  
Luigi :: Vy vust I ve stuck vith such ah stupid ah brotha!?!  
  
Narrator :: And as our two heroes walk into the sunset, we know that brotherhood and friendship will always bring idiots together--  
  
**Rain starts pouring down**  
  
Narrator :: Why did I even audition for this?  
  
**Mario takes out a loudspeaker and stands at the foot of the ark**  
  
Mario :: Come ah one, come ah all to the one and only MARIO AH'S ARK!  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Link :: Uh oh! It's starting to rain!  
  
Epona :: (Link, I'm not blind, deaf and stupid, I can tell when it rains.)  
  
Link :: Come on, Epona, let's go to Hyrule Market!  
  
Epona :: (You realize that there's no roof-)  
  
Link :: No time to complain! Let's go! Meanwhile.  
  
Tai :: It's really coming down. Maybe we should get out of Hyrule Market, I don't want to run into-  
  
Agumon :: You might wanna look in front of you, Tai.  
  
Tai :: **looks ahead and bumps into someone**  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Link :: Hey, I forgot.there's no roof in Hyrule Market!  
  
**teardrop forms**  
  
Epona :: (Groan)  
  
Link :: Rrr. it's YOUUUUUUU!  
  
**Link pulls out his sword**  
  
Tai :: Yeah, and.  
  
**Pulls out his Digivice**  
  
Tai :: Agumon! Pepper breath!  
  
Agumon :: Uh, I forgot.I had uh.something else to do.it's VERY important, and I'm sure you'll understand, won't you, Tai?  
  
**runs out of the market**  
  
Epona :: (HEY! Don't forget me! I don't want to be stuck here with these morons!)  
  
**runs frantically too**  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Mario :: No one is ah coming.  
  
Luigi :: Maybe you should ah turn it on.  
  
**Mario turns on the loudspeaker**  
  
Mario :: Come ah one, Come ah all to the one and only MARIO AH'S ARK!  
  
**Many animals come up to him**  
  
Mario :: Okay, what are you?  
  
Goron :: Rawr, **Eats rock** Rrrrr.  
  
Mario :: **Looks around**  
  
Let's say you're a Kong.  
  
**Checks off "Kong"**  
  
Goron :: **Falls asleep**  
  
Mario :: Yoshi! My old ah friend!  
  
Yoshi :: Yoshi!!  
  
**Eats Luigi**  
  
Luigi :: Oh no! Not again! Vy me?  
  
**Mario checks off "Digimon" and Epona and Agumon show up**  
  
Mario :: And what are ah you?  
  
Epona :: (I'm a horse, you?)  
  
**Mario checks off "Pantyhose"**  
  
Agumon :: I'm a Digimon!  
  
Mario :: I already have one of those. You can go away.  
  
Agumon :: Let me see that list?  
  
**Agumon checks off "Koopa" and runs in**  
  
Many hours later.  
  
**Mario drags in Link and Tai, who are still fighting**  
  
Mario :: That tiz all. Time to ah lock up!  
  
Prophet :: It will rain for forty days and forty nights.  
  
Mario :: How did you ah get here?  
  
Prophet :: Never mind, I'll just help myself to these hors d'oeuvres.  
  
Mario :: We have hors d'oeuvres?!  
  
**All the animals run to the hors d'oeuvres**  
  
Forty days and forty nights later.  
  
**Mario sticks his head out the window to get some fresh air**  
  
Mario :: It ah stopped ah raining!  
  
Prophet :: **Checks his watch** Told you so.  
  
Mario :: Where are ah we?  
  
Luigi :: We're in the middle of ah the ocean.  
  
Yoshi :: Yoshi!  
  
**eats Luigi again**  
  
Luigi :: Durr.  
  
Mario :: **doesn't notice his brother's been eaten devoured**  
  
We have to find ah land!  
  
Luigi :: **muffled sound**  
  
How?  
  
Ten minutes pass.  
  
Mario :: We can flip ah tomato!  
  
Luigi :: **jumps out of Yoshi's mouth**  
  
A TOMATO!!!???!!! Now I ah really vink you are ah LD!  
  
Mario :: Whatzza LD?  
  
Narrator :: Why don't you send a bird to search for it?  
  
Mario :: There it ah is! It's that ah voice again!  
  
Narrator :: .Why me?  
  
Luigi :: Vatzza vut Imma sayin!  
  
**Donkey Kong randomly takes a pair of Koopa wings and jumps out the window screaming**  
  
Donkey Kong :: EEEE AHHHH!  
  
**Monkey noises**  
  
**Splash**  
  
Narrator :: I said a bird.not dead weight!  
  
Moments later.  
  
Navi :: Hey! Look! Hey! Listen! Look!  
  
Mario :: Birdy, go find land!  
  
Narrator :: Oh well.at least it flies.  
  
Two days later.  
  
**Navi comes back with a mushroom**  
  
Navi :: Hey! Look! Hey! Listen! Look!  
  
Mario :: A mush-ah-room! I haven't ah eaten one for forty days and ah forty nights! **Mario wolfs it down and gets huge**  
  
Tai :: The boat's sinking!  
  
Link :: Are you telling me I'm fat? Are you saying I'm so heavy that the boat is sinking?! I'll show you who's fat!!  
  
**Link and Tai start fighting each other**  
  
**Mario gets so big he breaks the roof of the ark**  
  
Mario :: Hey, I can ah see ah my ah house from ah 'ere!  
  
**The boat sinks**  
  
Bowser :: Light. our. darkest. hour.  
  
Agumon :: Hey! Where did Toad go?  
  
Toad :: We're doomed! We're all gonna die!  
  
**Runs in circles**  
  
Mario :: That was one ah good mushroom!  
  
Luigi :: **Slaps Mario** Stupid brotha! Vy vust you ah act like ah an idiot!?!  
  
**Zelda spins the camera toward herself**  
  
Zelda :: HEYYYYY! Not fair! Why am I never in these sitcoms!?! That isn't a way to treat a princess!  
  
Tai :: What princess?  
  
**Link holds his sword up to Tai's throat**  
  
Link :: TAKE THAT BACK!  
  
Tai :: I'm not scared, because you can't kill me! Main characters never die!  
  
Link :: Grr.with an extra hiss!  
  
Narrator :: Uhm.excuse me, but we're in the middle of a story here. Could we actually get back to the plot?  
  
Bowser :: Right! Now where was I? Hmm.OOO! There's apothem in the pot!!!  
  
Narrator :: I KNEW I SHOULD'VE KEPT WITH CARTOON NETWORK!  
  
Bowser :: **Jumps up and down pointing at a rodent inside of a pot**  
  
APOTHEM IN THE POT!!! APOTHEM IN THE POT!!!  
  
Link :: When did the 'possum suddenly come in? I never saw the word 'possum' listed on that note.  
  
Tai :: Then God said, "Let there be 'possums'!"  
  
Agumon :: **sighs**  
  
His sense of humor really bites.  
  
**Another ship appears out of nowhere and crashes into the scrapped up ark.thing**  
  
Fargo :: Ark, ye maties!  
  
Kid :: I thought it be 'arg'!  
  
Fargo :: No, Kid. It be an ark!  
  
Kid :: Yer right! Serge, what kind o' trouble be we headin' to now, eh?  
  
Serge :: I don't know. But, if Lynx shows up tell him I don't feel like fighting today, good night.  
  
Kid :: Where the bloody hell be you goin'?  
  
Serge :: I haven't slept this whole damn game! And when I actually do have a chance for shut eye, I can't sleep through that annoying music they play!!!  
  
Kid :: .  
  
Meanwhile.on the ark.thing.  
  
Mario :: MAMA MIA! What was ah that?  
  
Luigi :: Looks ah like ah ghost ship!  
  
Mario :: MAMA MIA! WHATTA WE GONNA DO!?!?!  
  
Luigi :: MAMA MIAAAAA!  
  
**falls off ark**  
  
Mario :: Luigi, brotha! Why ah you going swimming?  
  
Luigi :: Mario, you idiot!  
  
**Both disappear into fog**  
  
Mario :: OH NO!!! WAHHHH!  
  
Moments later.  
  
Link :: What happened? Where did he go?  
  
Tai :: I don't know.but whoever wrote this story is going to see me piss in my pants right now.  
  
Link :: AGH! TAI! KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!  
  
Tai :: Sorry.erg. Agumon!  
  
Agumon :: What is it, Tai?  
  
Tai :: Did you see what happened?  
  
Agumon :: No, why? It's not like it's my problem.I mean you're the leader guy. And you..  
  
**points at Link**  
  
You're the man with the pantyhose, you figure something out as well!  
  
Link :: They're tights!  
  
**Throws a temper tantrum like a 3 year old**  
  
Navi :: LINK!  
  
Link :: WHAT!?!  
  
Navi :: Why don't we tell Sarah that we've been to Hyrule Castle!  
  
Everyone but Navi :: **blank stare**  
  
Zelda :: I say we throw this flutterby overboard tied to a lifetime supply of spam!  
  
Navi :: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! LINK!  
  
**Gets strapped to a few cans**  
  
Link :: Fairies don't eat that much.not like I've ever spared Sprite a meal or two.  
  
Zelda :: So that's what happened to her!!! Link! You murdered Sprite!  
  
Tai :: Man.first stealing from a Bazaar, now murdering a helpless fairy, what next?  
  
Mario :: **flops on deck**  
  
MAMA MIA! HELP AH ME! I CAN'T SWIIIIM!  
  
Everyone except Mario :: **blank stare (once again)**  
  
Zelda :: **drops Navi into endless oblivion**  
  
Whoops, oh well! I really was joking about drowning her with spam, but I guess what's done is done! Now, how did Mario come back? Or am I envisioning him in a daydream prophecy?  
  
Link :: **Ignores Zelda and stares at her wet shirt**  
  
**Smiles**  
  
Zelda :: ...Furthermore, Luigi hasn't come back yet, so I say that we send out a search par-Link? Link?  
  
Link :: **drools**  
  
Zelda :: ACK!  
  
**Slaps Link**  
  
PERVERT!  
  
Link :: Huh? What?  
  
Zelda :: ACK!  
  
**storms off**  
  
Tai :: Now that the wench shut her trap, let's get a move on!  
  
Back on the S.S. Invincible.  
  
Fargo :: Arg! What be ye Ark doin' in our waters?  
  
Luigi :: Mama mia! Ve vere only vying to vind vand!  
  
Fargo :: Ye be only buying the wind band?  
  
Kid :: No, capn'. He said he be only dying to grind sand!  
  
Luigi :: VE VERE ONLY VYING TO VIND VAND!  
  
**Begins crying and kicking his banded feet**  
  
Serge :: DAH! NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOUR BIG MOUTHS! HE SAID, "WE WERE ONLY TRYING TO FIND LAND!"  
  
Kid :: Yer no' Serge! I can see it in yer eyes!  
  
Serge :: **cackles**  
  
THAT'S RIIIIGHT!  
  
**rips open shirt**  
  
Bowser :: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
**deep breath**  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Narrator :: **Bubble bursts from nose**  
  
OH NO! This can't be! Serge is not Serge! Making him.not Serge.but.BOWSER!  
  
Bowser :: That's right! And now you shall pay! Just like the 'pothem did!  
  
Kid :: Then where be Serge!?!  
  
**Unsheathes dagger**  
  
Bowser :: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-DOH!  
  
Kid :: **Kicks Bowser in the.shin**  
  
Bowser :: **points at the Dragon Tear then over to Peach**  
  
Kid :: NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Bowser :: **points at Serge's body (Peach)**  
  
Kid :: .NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Change him back.err.bugger!  
  
Bowser :: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Over in the corner.  
  
Serge (Peach in Serge's Body) :: MY HAIR! IT'S BLUE! AHHHHH!!!  
  
Peach (Serge in Peach's Body) :: MY UNDERWEAR! IT'S MISSING!!! AHHHH!!!  
  
Serge :: What!?!  
  
Peach :: Oh.it went up my ass.there it is!  
  
Serge :: **Smacks self in face**  
  
Peach :: I can't stand wearing pink any longer, let's get that Dragon Tear!  
  
Serge :: I don't want anyone messing with my wedgies either, let's do this!  
  
**Both sneak 'carefully' to the shiny blue thing and stare**  
  
**Stare some more**  
  
**Still staring**  
  
Serge :: Are you sure this is how you do it!?!  
  
Peach :: Yeah.it's always worked this w-  
  
**Dragon Tear shines brightly**  
  
Serge (back to normal) :: MY FRUIT OF THE LOOM!  
  
**Jumps with joy!**  
  
Peach (back to herself) :: **Pulls out a frying pan**  
  
Let's go!  
  
Bowser :: How did.but you.then you.and then.DAH! HOW DID YOU ESCAPE!?!?!?!  
  
Serge :: **pulls out Rainbow Swallow and pokes Bowser**  
  
97% ( 98% ( 99%  
  
Weak Strong FIERCE!  
  
Bowser :: OWY! STOP THAT! YIKES!  
  
Peach :: HYCHA!  
  
KorCHA :: WhatCHA want?  
  
Kid :: Get yer bloody bum back in there and start makin' me dinner, wife!  
  
KorCHA :: I love my life!  
  
**Goes back like retard he is**  
  
Bowser :: OW.OW.STOP IT! THAT SMARTS!  
  
Mario :: **randomly shows up out of nowhere**  
  
HEHE! I YA GOT IT!  
  
**grabs some Millennium puzzle piece**  
  
**Yu Gi Oh! Theme starts**  
  
Millennio :: Let's du du du du du du duel!  
  
Bowser :: YOU'LL NEVER BEAT MY 'NO EYES BURNT BURRITO'!  
  
Millennio :: Think again, Bowser!  
  
**Austin Powers randomly appears from giant submarine in shape of Dr. Evil**  
  
Austin :: That's not Bowser!  
  
**rips off mask**  
  
It's Princess Daisy, baby!  
  
Daisy :: How did you know!?!  
  
Austin :: I didn't, baby!  
  
Everyone but Austin :: **blank stare**  
  
Austin :: Shall we shag now? Or later?  
  
**Daisy whacks Austin with a golf club**  
  
Daisy :: TAKE THAT!  
  
Austin :: Ouch baby, real ouch.  
  
**falls over holding groin**  
  
**Scooby Doo and Shaggy come in on a motor boat being chased by a giant shark**  
  
Scooby Doo :: RAGGY! RUT ROULD RE RO!?!  
  
Shaggy :: ZOIKS! PADDLE SCOOB!  
  
Narrator :: What? I blink my eyes once and all this happens! This isn't following the script! Hey! You're on the wrong set!  
  
Scooby Doo :: RUT RUS RAT!?!  
  
Shaggy :: Zoiks, Scooby! We're in the wrong stage!  
  
**All three go tip-toeing off the screen**  
  
Kid :: Oy, bugger! This be gettin' on me nerves! How many more can we fit on this set?  
  
**Daisy and Millenio fill the space with battle monsters**  
  
Millenio :: I call upon the power of the.  
  
**dramatic pose**  
  
TACO NINJA!  
  
**few more dramatic karate poses**  
  
In attack mode! And I'll also place this card face down!  
  
Daisy :: Such confidence you have, but with confidence or not you'll never.......................beat...................................ME!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA.  
  
**deep breath**  
  
.HAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
Everyone but Daisy and Millenio:: OOO! AHHH!  
  
**gasp!**  
  
Daisy :: ATTACK! No eyes, burnt burr--!!!  
  
Millenio :: HAHAH! That is where you're wrong! You have activated my trap card, 'Number 5 on the Menu'! It makes your burrito flame broiled!  
  
Daisy :: NOOO! Fine then, have it your way.  
  
Everyone but Daisy :: **cheers**  
  
Millenio :: **shrinks back to Mario**  
  
Mario :: Heya! What ah happened?  
  
Luigi :: BAH! Vy vust vy ve vuck vith vis!?!  
  
Mario :: Huh? Dur.  
  
Narrator :: Aww, haha, poor Luigi. So once again the day is sa--.  
  
Tai :: HEY! We're part of the main character line, too! Don't forget about us!  
  
Link :: Yeah!  
  
Tai :: I wasn't including you, Panty Boy!  
  
Link :: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!  
  
**gets into rumble with Tai**  
  
Narrator :: Ahem.so once again, the day is saved! Thanks to the Mario Brothers! Man, I need some Advil.  
  
"On the next episode of OMGHOWILUVTORANTANDYOUCAN'TSTOPMEBECAUSEYOUDON'THAVETHEAUTHORITYANDBLAHBLAHB LAH, Freezia is revived and enters the DigiWorld and teams up with the Digimon Emperor! Can Mario, Tai, and Panty Boy-  
  
Link :: I HEARD THAT!  
  
--stop his evil plans to take over the DigiWorld since he failed miserably to beat Gokou in the other world beauty pageant? His revenge is certain now that he has his hands on.what's this? Navi? On the next episode of HAHAHAHTHETITLEDOESN'TMATCHWHATITSAIDBEFORECAUSEISUCKN'ALLTHATCRAP!HAHAHAHAA !"  
  
FREEZIA STRIKES BACK! (no pun intended to emperor strikes back.) 


End file.
